Would you like to be exploited by anyone? And what about being manipulated? We know no one likes to be a puppet of anyone’s hands. But what about making people do what you want them to do? This wouldn’t sound like a bad option though, isn’t it? So, what is manipulation?
Hope this is not a bad option. You will justify your way of manipulation as persuasion.
Manipulation is everywhere and everyone manipulates others whether he/she is a master manipulator or your toddler or infant. We are surrounded by every kind of manipulators and you never know maybe you are also one among them.
What is manipulation all about?
Manipulation is not an art of making people do what you want them to do. It is about making them want to do what you desire. Manipulation in terms of psychology is a kind of social influence.
The objective of manipulation is to change the perceptions and behaviors of people. This change appears by using underhand tactics that also may be deceptive and even abusive sometimes.
So, the psychological manipulation can be defined as:
A type of social influence use to understand the psychological susceptibilities of a person.
Manipulation is a compulsory part of the everyday routine. There are numerous variations of manipulative behavior. But most of the manipulative behaviors have the same framework. Manipulation is devious, sneaky, and deceptive. That is why the victim gets the sense of happening something wrong. But they remain unaware of blueprints.
Examples of manipulation:
Here are some examples of manipulative behaviors. These examples can help us to identify how manipulators work to control other minds:
1. Always deny blames:
Manipulators never accept their mistakes but blame others for being the reason for their problems. They love to play the blame game but never become part of it as response to anything.
People who manipulate also know how to overcome the effect of their manipulation. They never think of the emotions of others and pain that deliver they bring for others. Most of the time, they are used to hide things by saying:
”I was just joking”.
”I am so depressed about my current situations”. Or something more convincing to minimize the abusive effect.
3. Thwart the efficiency or efforts of others:
The better know about the weaknesses of their opponent/victim, and trigger their emotional buttons to manipulate. When they know some pinpoints of yours, they adopt a subtle attitude to awake an emotional response from you. They frustrate their victims as a way to manipulate or control them.
4. Leading Statement:
A manipulator tries to change their victim subtly as they want to see them be. From dressing to appearance, housework to office job, and habits they do objections to everything.
- Don’t you have sense?
- How could you be like this in the party?
- Why have you done it in this way!!!!! And the list is simply endless.
- They always make their victims feel a fool and dumb.
Gaslighting is a dangerous manipulative behavior that involves planting false information as true. This is done to make victim doubtful of their perceptions and themselves. This is a long and slow process that leaves the victim confused and remains unsure of them. Some basic signs of gaslighting are:
- The victim started to think ”Am I too sensitive?”
- The victim turns into an unhappy person rather than having so many good things in life.
- Moreover, the victim feels trouble making common decisions.
- The victim feels hopeless and joyless in their life.
- The victim considers as though they can’t do anything right.
- Victim second-guesses their self constantly and even turns crazy.
A manipulator leaves the victim feeling ashamed and guilty without saying a single word. They show their disapproval and disappointment with their behavior without speaking to the victim.
Shaking head in dismay, eye-rolling, sighing and avoiding a person they can easily transfer their rejection to the victim. This attitude shakes the confidence of a person, and keeps a person sad, puzzled, and fail.
Manipulation in a relationship:
The easiest way to manipulate a person is by being with them in a relationship. Relationship manipulation is very common. In many of the cases, manipulator and victims are not even aware of the manipulation. But in a few cases, it becomes a toxic pattern of a complex relation that spoils the beauty, trust, and love.
Manipulation in relationships is not always an evil intent. Mostly it is a harmless and innocent part of a lovely relation. But when a partner starts twisting your words, criticize every action as wrongdoing it’s sneaky. This behavior can make a person crazy, ruin their confidence, and destroy their self-esteem.
Manipulation is dangerous!
People who manipulate disguise their interests as your interests. They use people as their puppets. They prepare the ground by separating their victims from others. Then the manipulator acts concerned for the victim. And finally fits their perception and thoughts in the victim’s mind. The victim completely gets dependent on the manipulator and starts looking at the world with the eyes of the manipulator.
Manipulator wants to change others’ life, not for the benefit of others but to keep people outgrowing them. They do manipulation to validate their lives. They try their best to make victims consider them their good wisher and this is the biggest problem. It is easy to fight with the enemy but how anyone can fight against their loved ones, friends, or life partner?????
Is it possible to stop manipulation?
It is really hard to get rid of a manipulator as they promise to support that never comes, flip-flop on issues, and act slippery when anyone wants to hold them.
But to get rid of them self-confidence is the only weapon that can help to actively deal with a manipulator. Here, I am sharing five perfect ways to deal with manipulation:
Understand your fundamental rights:
Always stand up for yourself and defend your rights as long as you are not becoming a problem for others. As an individual human being you have following rights:
- You deserve respect and have a complete right to express your opinion and feelings.
- You are also free to set your priorities.
- Saying ”No” is quite normal, no need to feel guilty about saying no to anyone if it is not necessary.
- You have the right to create your happy life and set appropriate goals for it.
- You are an individual of your kind.So, you can have a different opinion than others.
Keep distance in relationships:
As an individual everyone deserves some space in a relationship. Never depend completely on others. Every relation has its limits and boundaries, whether it is very close relation like parent-child relation (I will discuss the limits and manipulations in parental relations in some other article), husband-wife relation, and friendship. No one has the right to implement their opinion and desires on others. There is a need to follow the limitations and boundaries set by someone else unless you want.
If a manipulator makes your life miserable and you find no way to avoid them. Just turn the tables. Find their gravity and hit it by being allies with their closest ones, this will make them off-balance. Play your part to replace them from their center and this will force them to concentrate on their own life.
Believe in yourself:
You are your own master. You better know yourself than anyone else, what’s right and what’s wrong for you. There is no need to get others to an opinion about your matters. This behavior motivates manipulators to rule you.
- Stop trying to be a person people want you to be. Define you and trust yourself. Your beliefs are your goals and boundaries. Never try to fit in every frame but reinvent yourself.
- Don’t be so consistent with manipulators that they become aware of your weaknesses. Work progressively to stand out and above all.
- Stop compromising your limits, dreams, and beliefs for others. Manipulators force you to feel guilty and guilt promotes compromises. No one is perfect. Everyone has their rights and wrongs. Accept yours…..try to become better, learn from your mistakes but never show your scars and wounds to others forgive them a chance to manipulate you.
Manipulation destroys the dreams, goals, and aims of an individual. It is a worse kind of attitude that can turn a healthy, productive, and confident person into a mentally sick, crazy, and useless part of society. Manipulator exploits the emotions, feelings, and life of their victim.
Manipulation is a vast field to discuss. Many areas of it relate it to dark psychology. In the mean, while manipulation can be beneficial also. It is just an introduction to manipulation and believes me there is a long way to understand it.
What you have learned from this article? Please share with us your opinion about manipulation and manipulators. And also suggest what kind of information you need to know about manipulation. We will play our role to aware of you.